Vestige of Eternity
by one hundred zeros
Summary: Because the gods had no idea how to judge a soul as equally tainted and as it was pure, they said: Let him live again, and with this life, we shall judge him. "I missed you, Sai." Hikasai
1. First Life :: Fujiwara no Sai

**Disclaimer: Hikaru no Go does not belong to me, no matter how much I love Sai and Akira and Hikaru. No copyright infringement intended.**

**A/N: This story was really started on a whim. i don't even know where it is going yet. I'm sorry.**

**:: First Life :: Fujiwara no Sai ::**

The gods did not know what to do. Here, in front of them, was a soul awaiting judgement, and yet it was such an... unusual case.

This has never happened before - at least they cannot remember, because gods lived too long, remembered too much and forgot too much.

Fujiwara no Sai.

The name was whispered about within the white halls of judgement, echoing off the ornate pillars which held up a roof of sky. Yet the man kneeling at the center of this place barely looked up at the mention of his name, head bowed and long hair spilling down his back and over his shoulders to pool onto the crystal floors.

A man who has lived a thousand years, whose soul was just as tainted as it was pure. A man who has walked one life, and at the same time three.

How should he be judged? How _can _he be judged?

The gods were at a loss, and a great many of them were already bored, and so by general consensus, they finally came to an agreement.

_Let him live again, _they said, _and with this life, let us judge him._

:::

"Ramen is the best!" came Hikaru's loud declaration, much to Waya's annoyance and Isumi's exasperation. "Ne, Fuku, don't you think so?"

"Of course not!" Waya snapped, not even giving the smaller boy a chance to reply. "Sushi is!"

"Who wants to eat sushi?" Hikaru made a face. "Ramen tastes ten times better!"

"Then sushi is a hundred times better!"

"A thousand!"

"A million!"

"What comes after a million?"

"Ha!" Waya laughed, a smug expression decorating his face. "I win."

Next to him, Isumi resisted the urge to bang his head against a nearby lamp post. He had _known _that inviting both Hikaru and Waya out for lunch at the same time was a bad idea, but then, it has been a long time since they had had lunch together, and at they age of 18, one would have expected them to be less... rowdy.

Apparently not.

"They never change do they?" Isumi sighed, addressing Fuku who was walking next to him.

"Nope," he smiled, "But that's what makes them so adorable isn't it?"

Fuku, like Hikaru and Waya, had barely changed over the years, his countenance still as calm and friendly as it had been when they were young. Even his appearance seemed the same, and although he did grow a little when he had reached puberty, he had eventually resigned himself to the fate that he just wasn't going to get any taller.

Isumi winced. "I might find them considerably more adorable if they did not give me a headache every time I see them."

"But you wouldn't have it any other way would you?" Fuku asked. "At least I won't."

It was true, Isumi realized, despite all his complaining about the noise that accompanied his two friends every time they went out, he knew that he never wanted them to change. A quiet Hikaru and Waya just... didn't feel right (downright weird, actually).

"Ne, Isumi, where are we going?" Hikaru shouted, already a few meters ahead, impatiently shifting from foot to foot. "It's a ramen stall isn't it?"

"You wish," he muttered, before replying, "No. Sorry to disappoint, it's actually a takoyaki stand, just down the road to your right."

The boy with the bleached-bangs made a face upon hearing that he wouldn't be getting to eat his favorite food, before turning to speak to the boy standing next to him, "Hear that Waya? Even Isumi wouldn't want to eat su- Waya?"

The boy was not listening and barely flickered an eyelash to acknowledge Hikaru's jibe. His attention was, instead, trained towards a boutique across the street. A rather high-end one too, the kind that did business off rich men and women with too much money to know what to do with, the kind that Waya himself has barely stepped into more than a few times in his life.

Following the other boy's gaze, Hikaru grinned, a teasing lift of his lips which never boded well.

"I never knew you were into this sort of thing, Waya," he lifted his eyebrows suggestively.

"Look at that, Shindo," the red head muttered, something that sounded partly awe and partly disbelief in his tone.

"What?" came the blunt reply. "That you have a fetish for these kinds of clothes? Geeze, who knew you were secretly just like Touya?"

This seemed to get through to the other boy, who snapped his head around, glaring in mock offense. "Me? Like Touya? In your dreams, Shindo. After all, _I'm _not the one who has an almost obsessive rivalry with him am I?"

"What were you looking at then, if not at the clothes?" Hikaru challenged, matching Waya's heated gaze with one of his own.

The other boy shook his head. "I wasn't talking about the clothes, Shindo - not the ones in the shop, anyway. I meant the guy _inside _the shop. You know, the one standing there, next to the mannequin with the blonde ringlet wig and the five-inch heels," Waya gestured with a wave of his hand. "Have you ever seen hair like that? It's even longer than Touya's. And those _clothes. _He looks like he's just stepped out of a history book or something, because seriously, who dresses like that these days? With the tate-eboshi too."

He tilted his head to the left, looking for affirmation from his friend but was instead met with empty space.

"Shindo-?" He turned, gazing around wildly, trying to find the other boy who had suddenly disappeared. There were quite a few people on the streets at this hour heading to and from lunch. Eyes sweeping swiftly through the crowd, Waya finally located his friend, squeezing his way between a plump lady and a little boy, making his way quickly in the direction of the boutique.

Muttering curses under his breath, Waya took off after him. What had gotten into Shindo? One moment he was standing next to him arguing as always, and the next moment he just disappeared without even a word of warning or explanation.

Long strides quickly catching up with the slightly shorter boy, Waya managed to grab onto one of Hikaru's hands just as he was about to dash across the street.

"What's gotten _into _you, Shindo?" Waya asked, pulling the boy roughly back. "Where are you going?"

The look on Hikaru's face when he turned to look at him was a mask of such urgency that Waya was momentarily shocked.

"I'm sorry, Waya," the boy said, hurriedly, words stumbling over each other. "But I really have to go. It might be too late if I don't." Here a brief flash of pain flickered in those viridescent eyes, so fast Waya almost thought he was mistaken. "I don't have time to explain," Hikaru continued, already pulling his hand out of the other's grip, "tell Isumi and Fuku for me will you?"

With that parting request, he turned, and before Waya could stop him again, Hikaru had already sped across the road without so much as a backward glance, hair flying out behind him as he ran. Too stunned to speak, Waya could only stare at his friend's retreating back, not even beginning to understand what had just happened.

"Is that Shindo?" Isumi's voice shook him out of his reverie.

He turned, shrugging his shoulders as he did so. "Yeah."

"What happened?"

Another shrug. "No idea. He'll be late though."

With that, he started walking down the street in the direction of the takoyaki stall, leaving behind an equally puzzled Isumi and Fuku.

:::

Surely it couldn't be? But Hikaru could not help it, could not help the wild, almost frantic, beating of his heart when he had caught sight of that face, could not help the instinctive urge to run to the side of the person he thought he had lost forever, and whom he missed with an almost aching hollowness.

How long has it been? He thought as he ran. Three, four years? Three, four years of guilt and regret, and it surprised him somewhat that he was already beginning to forget.

Ducking into the shop, the bell above the door jangled loudly to signify his arrival, and Hikaru made a face. He would have preferred not to attract any attention to himself and conduct his search quietly.

Stepping further into the store, he allowed his eyes to pass swiftly over the interior of the shop, taking in the racks of clothes, all made of sequins and velvet and soft silks; the ornate floor to ceiling mirrors; and the few shoppers lounging on chairs, looking at different samples of intricately decorated cloth.

"Can I help you sir?" a shop girl asked, coming up to him, voice cultured and precise.

_He's not here, _Hikaru thought, ignoring her. There was a kind of sinking feeling in his chest, the kind that was painful and bitter and made him almost want to cry. _Sai's not here._

"Sir?" The girl's voice sounded slightly puzzled now, but thankfully she was patient enough not to have thrown him out yet.

His green eyes swept through the store of last time, briefly resting on each one of the customers, before resigning himself to the fact that none of them was familiar and could not possibly have been the one he was looking for.

He turned to face the shop assistant, a smile already on his face, although a little half-hearted. "It's okay," he said, "I was just-"

He stopped suddenly, causing the girl to take a step backwards, startled and slightly afraid of the intense look on his face.

Sai was there, back facing him. Hikaru had not noticed earlier because he had been partially hidden by a clothes rack, but now that he turned to look, he could clearly see the black tate-eboshi as well as the familiar black hair which swept down past his shoulders.

"I'm sorry," he said quickly, before pushing past the girl and moving in the direction of where Sai was standing, the shop assistant already forgotten.

He could only think of one thing as he swiftly approached the customer, walking as quickly as he could without actually running, all the while being painfully aware of his heart hammering loudly in his ears.

Hikaru was almost afraid to call out, because although now he could see the other person clearly, from the white fan in his hand down to the Heian era style of clothes and the black hair tired by a white ribbon near the end, Hikaru still could not shake off his fear that that person was _not _Sai and that he would have to go through the pain of losing him all over again.

He was so afraid of getting hurt.

He paused, hesitated, before taking a deep breath and finally saying, "Sai?" The name came out tentatively, betraying his uncertainty.

The man standing before him turned around swiftly, and when Hikaru finally saw his face, he didn't know whether he wanted to laugh or to cry or to just hug Sai close and to tell him that he missed him.

"Hikaru?" Bright blue eyes were confused, and Sai tilted his head to one side.

"Sai." There was no doubt in his voice this time. "What are you doing here, Sai?" It was a silly question, Hikaru knew, but he couldn't think of anything else to say. There were too many emotions overwhelming him right now, and he was afraid that if he attempted to say something like 'I missed you,' he might end up crying instead.

The other man blinked, then, "I'm buying clothes, Hikaru. I doubt what I am wearing will fit in very well. What about you?"

Hikaru pursed his lips, before suddenly taking hold of Sai's hand. "Waya and the others invited me to lunch, let's go join them." He smiled.

"But my clothes-"

"Your clothes can wait Sai," Hikaru replied, already dragging the other out the door in his usual manner of disregard once he himself has come to a satisfactory decision.

"But, I-"

Hikaru turned to look back at him, green eyes just as Sai had remembered them - bright and teasing. "You don't want to have lunch with us?"

"Ah, no, that's not it-"

"Then it's okay isn't it?" the boy laughed. "Come, let's hurry up before Waya finishes all the takoyaki."

Sai felt his eyes soften. Yes, it has been such a long time, but Hikaru... Hikaru hasn't changed at all.

"I thought you didn't like takoyaki."

"I never said I didn't like takoyaki," Hikaru pouted. "I just like ramen more."

**A/N: And here is chapter one.**

**This is my first time writing a Hikaru no Go fanfic. I didn't even finish reading the manga. I'm sorry. T.T (Could not bear the thought of Sai disappearing, so I only read 12 volumes.) I would like to apologize for any mistakes in my understanding of the Go game, or any other terms. If it is really bothersome, you could drop me a review and I shall have it changed as soon as possible.**

**Also, I am starting to worry that Hikaru was a little OOC. One might realize that he acts a bit too childish for 18 years. I'm trying to change that, but like I said, i did not finish the manga so it is a little difficult for me to imagine an adult Hikaru.**

**Was the reunion between the two of them too unbelievable? It sounded extremely unconvincing to me since both of them acted like nothing happened. o.O I'll be putting in some explanations later on to clarify things.**

**Hope you liked it, please review. :3**

**MoonMyst**


	2. Second Life :: Honinbo Shusakuu

**:: Second Life :: Honinbo Shuusaku ::**

Waya almost, _almost, _choked, but managed to swallow just in time before he made a fuss. The person he had seen back in the shop of the other side of the street - the person with the long hair and ridiculously ancient clothes - he was here now, standing easily next to Hikaru and claiming that he knew the boy.

"This person was my teacher," Hikaru was explaining, green eyes bright and eager, making the pain within them only a while ago almost like a non-existent memory. "He was the one who had taught me Go." The pride in his voice was so obvious nobody could miss it.

"Nice to meet you," the man smiled in response to the introduction, wide and disarming like a child. "My name is Sai."

This time, Waya just went ahead and choked. Spluttering, he coughed into a napkin which Isumi held out to him before finally managing to calm down enough to ask weakly, "Really?"

Sai tilted his head to the side, eyes wide. "Of course." When there was still no reply, only stunned stares directed his way, his smile faltered and turned into a pout. "Hikaru," he whined, "Why are your friends ignoring me?" he turned to the boy with bleached bangs, eyes big and teary. "Do they dislike me?"

This seemed to shake the others out of their disbelieving silence, and Isumi reacting first, held out his hand. "My name is Isumi Shinichiro, but everyone just calls me Isumi. Nice to meet you too, Sai-san."

"Ah," Sai said, instantly cheered up, taking a hold of Isumi's hand and shaking energetically. "You can call me Sai too, Isumi."

Fuku allowed his hand to be shook as well, although he seemed a little overwhelmed by Sai's enthusiastic nature; and even Waya said a "Nice to meet you" after an elbow to his ribs by Isumi.

Pushing Sai into a chair, Hikaru settled himself next to him, smile still wide on his face. "So, Sai," he began, "What do you want to eat?"

The man tilted his head again, as Waya had quickly realized he was apt to do when he was confused. "Eat?" he asked, as though the concept was foreign to him.

"Yeah," Hikaru said, pressing a menu into Sai's hands. "What do you want to eat? Although takoyaki is nowhere as good as ramen, but the food here is decent. How about the ham and cheese?"

Sai blinked. "Oh, okay, I guess," he said, smiling. "If Hikaru likes it then I guess it must be good."

Next to them, Waya felt his confusion grow. He could not help the feeling that the more he watched, the more he did not understand. What was the relationship between Shindou and this Sai? From their interaction, they seemed close enough to be best friends, and yet for all the time Waya has known him, Shindou has never so much as mentioned Sai's name willingly. And then there was the mysterious internet player 'Sai'. Was he the same Sai as Hikaru's friend? But if so, why has Hikaru always been so reluctant to talk about him? And why was the reluctance just as suddenly gone now?

Looking to the right, he saw a similar expression of Isumi's face, and he knew that the other must be thinking the same thoughts. How could he not? Although it might only be a personal point of view, Waya had always had a strange feeling lurking on the peripherals of his mind that there was more to Shindou than the boy himself let on. Behind the smiling, out-going facade, there was something missing, and it presented itself in brief flashes in his green eyes. Occasional unguarded moments which would leave Waya at a loss and which he would brush off in a matter of seconds.

"What about you, Waya-kun?" Sai was saying. "Are you going to order the sushi side-dish? I always thought you liked sushi."

Waya turned his head too fast in his surprise and nearly banged his head into the table divider next to him. "How do you know?" He had not meant to sound suspicious, but his words came out hostile and guarded.

Sai looked taken aback, then flustered, and just when he looked as though he were about to reply, Shindou cut in smoothly. "I told him about you." The answer was sensible, and yet Waya felt as though the other boy was lying. He frowned, but Shindou only looked back innocently, and after a while of silent staring, Waya sighed and looked away.

"Whatever, Shindou. How come you've never mentioned Sai to us before?" He absentmindedly stirred at his drink with his straw, watching the crushed ice at the bottom of the glass swirl past.

Hikaru laughed, the sheepish, guilty laugh that he usually had when he knew he had done something wrong. "I did, Waya."

When the other Go player only looked back at him with a raised eyebrow, Shindou's expression turned even more remorseful. "Well, you remember the NetGo player, Sai?"

Waya felt his eyes widen. "That's him?" He could not keep the astonishment out of his voice. True, he had suspected as much only a while ago, but to have his suspicions suddenly confirmed...

"I think I need some air," he muttered weakly, before standing up and pushing his way past Sai and the neighboring table. He could feel the long-haired man's curious gaze on him, but he really could not care.

"Waya!" Hikaru shouted, confused. "Waya, what are you-" but the other boy did not look back, only made his way out onto the street where he stood looking up at one of the distant buildings with his back to them, not acknowledging his words.

Hikaru turned to look at his two remaining friends, a question in his eyes. "Why-"

Isumi sighed and raked a hand through his hair. "You know, Shindou - for us, Sai the NetGo player has always been somewhat of a legend, but Waya has always been more serious about it. I think he cannot believe that there could ever be someone as good as Sai, and he is as determined to prove the other's existence - or in-existence - as he is to find out the truth from you. But to have it suddenly thrust in his face," Isumi smiled a little ruefully, "I think I can understand his surprise a little."

Hikaru shook his head and did not look as though he understood. "But why?" His eyebrows were drawn downwards in an unhappy frown.

"He's right," next to Isumi, Fuku spoke up as well. "And it's more than just that. Akira missed the first round of the Pro-exams just to play Sai. Waya probably never got over his annoyance about it."

"Akira did?" Hikaru asked, surprised.

"Yes, I remember." Sai smiled as he spoke. "It was raining that day, and we were at the Internet Cafe, remember? Well, you probably forgot that the Pro-exams began that week though, seeing that you hardly remember anything that doesn't immediately concern you."

"Sai," Hikaru whined. "Don't be mean."

"But it is true, isn't it?" Sai smiled, a fond curving of his lips. "But you have changed too," he added. "You've grown." There was something wistful in his eyes as he said the last sentence which made Hikaru frown, but before he could think on it further, a young waitress arrived with their orders and the food immediately made them all forget their other worries. At least for the moment.

:::

"Hikaru! Your house is so big, Hikaru!" Sai's enthusiastic shouts could be heard from the second floor of his two-story apartment.

"I know!" Hikaru shouted back up, bringing the tea tray into the living room. "You can look at them later, Sai! I've gotten the tea ready, so come down."

There was a moment of silence, then the sound of feet thumping down the stairs could be heard before Sai practically ran headlong into the room. Hikaru smiled and passed him a cup.

"I don't know what you'd like to drink, but I think you'd like green tea," he said as he sat down on the sofa with Sai next to him.

Next to him, Sai hummed happily. "I don't know," he said, "but right now, I think everything tastes good, especially the takoyaki during lunch. Do you think we could go there again, sometime?"

He turned eager eyes towards Hikaru. The boy smiled. "Of course, Sai. Anything you want. Although I suppose you'll need some clothes first."

"But Hikaru," Sai said, falling over onto his side while still keeping the tea from spilling. "You were the one who dragged me away from the shop this morning."

Hikaru smiled apologetically. "I'm sorry," he replied. "I was just too excited I guess. But it's too late to be going out for clothes now, so I suppose you'll have to make do with some of mine."

"The ones with 5s emblazoned on them?" Sai lifted an eyebrow and asked teasingly.

Hikaru flushed. "No, obviously not. I have some other clothes too, you know."

"And are they yellow?"

"Sai!" the boy looked taken aback. "You've gotten meaner, Sai."

The man stretched out on the sofa next to him laughed. "I'm sorry, but you were always the meanie, Hikaru."

"So this is revenge?" Hikaru pouted.

Sai sat up again and set his cup down on the table. "Of course not," he poked the boy in his side of his arm. "I'm just glad to see you."

"Really?" Hikaru turned to look at him.

"Really really," Sai replied, blue eyes sincere.

"In that case," a sudden thought found its way into Hikaru's mind and he smiled in a rather ominous manner, "you wouldn't mind if I really let you wear one of my yellow shirts would you?"

"Hikaru!"

:::

Standing in front of the mirror, Sai looked critically at his image. Yellow really did not suit him - not at all, but at least he had convinced Hikaru to do away with the 5. Seeing how many shirts the boy had, it hadn't taken much effort to find one.

"It looks great, Sai," Hikaru announced, stepping into the room with a towel around his damp hair and wearing a matching yellow shirt and baggy pants. Sai had been allowed to bathe first, being the guest, although there had been some complications in the beginning due to the former-ghost's inability to operate anything that did not exist one thousand years ago (in other words shower taps).

The other man frowned. "Are you being sarcastic, Hikaru?"

"No. Why would I be?" the boy blinked back innocently.

This was rewarded with a glare, before Sai turned around and started to rather obsessively brush his hair. Unbound, it fell past the back his knees like a dark waterfall of silk and Hikaru watched almost fascinated at the way it caught the light at certain angles and glinted faintly purple.

Sai was really pretty, wasn't he? Although Hikaru had always known that for a fact, this was still the first time which he has ever really noticed it for himself.

"Hikaru?" Sai's voice startled him from his thoughts and realizing that he had been staring, Hikaru flushed a looked away.

"N-nothing," he replied, before adding,"You can sleep here Sai. This is the guest room. Mine is on the left if you need anything."

"Here?" The other man sounded surprised, turning around quickly in a way that made his hair swish about his face.

"Is there a problem?" Hikaru asked. "If you don't like it, I'm sure you can move to another room if you want."

Sai shook his head. "No, this room is wonderful! It's just that," here he paused. "The room is so big, Hikaru. It feels a little lonely."

And Hikaru felt his eyes soften with sympathy. Of course Sai would be worried. Everything was new to him, from the windows to the clocks and the television set, it was only natural that he would feel lonely.

Almost without thinking, Hikaru said, "You could sleep in my room if you want. I'm sure I have a futon somewhere around here."

"Really?" Sai's eyes lit up at the suggestion, "I can?"

Hikaru smiled a little at how Sai was so easily cheered up by the new arrangement. "Of course you can, Sai. Like I said, anything you want."

**A/N: Hahaha. Chapter 3, after more than a month. I still have not gotten around to finishing HnG, but I love it so very very much. Characterization has pretty much gone down the drain, though, I think. But in my defense, Sai has always been a little... flighty, if that's the right word to describe him.**

**Your reviews fuel my passion for writing.**

**MoonMyst**


	3. Parallel Life :: Touya Akira :: Part 1

**:: Parellel Lives :: Touya Akira :: Part I ::**

In the quiet of the night Hikaru lay awake, listening to the sounds of the silent house - the clock ticking, the slight hum of the fridge in his kitchen - familiar sounds. It was late, he knew, and he was sleepy, but there just seemed to be too many things on his mind for him to be able to drift off.

Turning slightly under the covers, he looked down at Sai asleep on the futon. The other man's face was peaceful, and one arm was curled under the pillow, long hair splayed about him like a halo. Sai smiled gently when he was asleep, Hikaru realized, and it made him look so unearthly that Hikaru found it hard to believe that this really was Sai - not the ghost, but _Sai - _and he was here with him right now, just like he had always been.

Hikaru reached out with hesitating fingers, just lightly brushing a few strands of that silky dark hair - not enough to wake his sleeping companion, but enough to assuage the sudden fear in his heart because he was so afraid, even now. So very, very afraid that this was all a wistful, wonderful dream that was the culmination of too many years spent longing and regretting.

"Sai..." he murmured, the familiar name slipping from his mouth easily. It was almost a little funny how he had never forgot, how he had never really moved on. _You were so very important to me, and I... I never even realized._

He lifted his hand lucidly, almost as though in a daze, fingertips just ghosting over the outline of Sai's long hair, moving upwards and tracing the line of his jaw, passing over a pale throat and delicate collarbones, barely touching. In the dim light, it became once again painfully clear to Hikaru just how beautiful Sai was. Strange how he had never thought to notice before, but back then, he'd never noticed so many other things.

He stayed that way, fingers close but not really touching his companion for what seemed like hours. Enraptured by the long lashes of Sai's eyes that swept down against his cheekbone, the gentle curve of his pale lips... Hikaru felt something tightening within him, a little like longing, a little like sadness, but not quite. It was hollow, he felt hollow. He wished they could stay this way forever.

The other man stirred suddenly, and Hikaru abruptly jerked his hand backwards, heart pounding loudly in his ears, hoping that Sai hadn't woken up and he hadn't been found out. But Sai merely shifted slightly, and curling against the pillow a little more, he seemed to settle down and fall asleep again.

Hikaru breathed a sigh of relief, sense returning to him. What could possibly have made him do something like that? No matter his insecurities, such possessive behavior was just too much unlike him. It was unsettling, to say the least.

Turning around beneath his covers so that he was no longer looking at Sai, he forced himself to think about other things - like the match he was going to play against a two-dan (whom he did not quite recognize) tomorrow. But thinking about Go only made him think about Sai again, how he would play, what moves he would make, and most importantly, where he would play.

Would he go to the Institute? Become a pro? He was certainly young enough to still take the test although Hikaru could not be sure; but the mere thought that other people - strangers - would get to see Sai's Go sent an unbearable pang of loss through his heart.

_I'm so selfish, _he thought mockingly, fingers digging into his arms, shocked by the ugliness of his own character. But he knew that it would be doing Sai a great dishonor to his skill if Hikaru were to keep it to himself, and he would never do such a thing that was sure to hurt the other man so deeply.

He yawned suddenly, sleep seeming to finally catch up to him. _The Institute... _he thought sleepily as he half-drifted between wakefulness and unconsciousness. _I'll go to the Institute tomorrow. Sai - will Sai ask to come?_

:::

Waking up to see Sai still sleeping sprawled out on the futon next to his bed certainly helped assuage much of Hikaru's insecurities. In the clear light of morning, everything that had happened last night - his worry, his fear - they all felt like nothing more than a bad dream, like something his mind had conjured up while he was only half aware.

Slipping out of bed quietly, Hikaru made sure not to rouse the other man while brushing his teeth and changing. Then looking into his room and seeing that Sai had not yet woken up (something which was very surprising since Hikaru had always thought that Sai would be an early riser), Hikaru decided that he would just start preparing breakfast the way he normally did.

It was while he was in the middle of attempting to stir the miso soup and lay the table at the same time that Sai walked in, long hair tousled from sleep, still wearing the yellow shirt Hikaru had lent him.

"Good morning Sai," Hikaru smiled, watching a little worriedly when his miso soup started to bubble furiously.

"Good morning Hikaru," the other man greeted, coming up to look at what he was doing. "What is that?"

"Uh... soup?" he replied, noting with slight embarrassment that his soup was not looking very much like soup right then (it seemed to be turning into froth, from what he could see).

But Sai didn't comment, only nodded and straightened to look about Hikaru's spacious kitchen. He noted with some amusement that Hikaru had framed up one of Shuusaku's kifus above the kitchen counter, then his eyes widened when his gaze fell on what was on the kitchen counter.

"Hikaru, Hikaru!" he called excitedly. "You have a microwave, Hikaru! And a toaster! And a fridge!"

Hikaru nodded as he concentrated on his soup which seemed to have calmed down somewhat, listening amusedly to the sounds coming from behind him of what was certainly Sai opening and closing the fridge door as he watched, fascinated, the light inside switching on.

"Ne, Hikaru, is it true that the light in the fridge turns off when the door is closed?" he called, trying to look through the tiniest of cracks without actually closing the door.

"I don't know, Sai," Hikaru replied, beginning to ladle the soup into separate bowls now that he had managed to salvage it. "But that is what everyone says."

Placing a bowl on each of the place mats, he pulled Sai to sit down. "Eat Sai," he said. "I'm going to the Institute after breakfast and I think that you would want to come with me."

His response was one moment of stunned silence before he was suddenly engulfed in an over-enthusiastic hug.

"I love you Hikaru!" Sai exclaimed, smiling widely, his blue eyes close to Hikaru's face and very nearly glowing from his happiness. In his extreme joy, he almost failed to notice when Hikaru stiffened in his arms, suddenly turning rigid and unresponsive.

Pulling away, he saw that the boy was not looking at him and had his eyes, instead, determinedly trained on Shuusaku's kifu where it was displayed on the wall.

Sai felt his heart sink. "Hikaru?" he asked tentatively, suddenly worried that he may have overstepped the boundaries yet not knowing why. He used to hug Hikaru all the time back when he was a boy. Were things different now? Was he no longer allowed to do things like that?

Hikaru's eyes snapped back to his face, but there was still a strange quality to his gaze that made Sai feel as though the boy was not looking at him so much as looking _through _him.

"No, Sai," Hikaru murmured. "I'm fine."

:::

Arriving at the Institute later that morning, Sai's presence drew more than a few stares from the professionals and Insei alike. Although Hikaru had pushed him into the bathroom after breakfast and found him a blue blouse and white pants to wear which were thankfully neither emblazoned with a five nor yellow, it did not seem to help with the amount of attention he was attracting.

Sai tugged self-consciously at the collar of his shirt, not at all used to the style of clothes so different from the loose robes of the Heian Era - but Hikaru had made it perfectly clear to him earlier on that no, it was impossible to find traditional costumes like that nowadays unless one walked into a museum or a cosplay shop.

Sai didn't even know what cosplay meant, but it didn't sound all that flattering.

"Relax, Sai," Hikaru whispered from next to him.

_Was his nervousness so noticeable?_

"But everyone is staring at me, Hikaru," he whispered back. "Are you sure these clothes are what people normally wear?"

"I'm sure. They're just staring at you because you look like a pretty girl cross-dressing and even then you still look better than them. I bet they're jealous." The boy flashed him a teasing grin, green eyes bright and laughing.

Somehow, the sight of them made Sai relieved. That moment in the kitchen that morning had felt so _off - _Hikaru had been so cold as though he didn't want him there. It had made Sai worried, but seeing him smiling so widely now convinced him that he must have imagined it.

"I do _not _look like a girl," he pretended to glare at the boy. "Take that back this instant!"

But Hikaru only shook his head. "No, Sai. You _do_." His grin broadened.

"You meanie!" Sai exclaimed, indignant, attempting to poke him in his ribs.

Hikaru dodged, spinning around to grasp Sai's wrist instead. "You were always the mean one!" he retorted, pining Sai's hand to his side so that the other man couldn't attempt to poke him again.

"What? You know that's not true Hikaru!" Sai replied, trying and failing to free his hand from Hikaru's grip. "Exactly how do I look like a girl, you meanie?"

Hikaru pretended to think it over seriously. "Well, you have very long eye-lashes, Sai. And very, _very _long hair."

"Hikaru!" Sai exclaimed. "I can't help how long my eye-lashes are. People don't usually care anyway."

"Well I do," the boy retorted instantly, causing Sai to look down at him in surprise. Then the smile dropped off Hikaru's face and he took a step back, as though what he had said only just suddenly dawned on him.

"Hikaru?" Sai asked, suddenly unpleasantly reminded of that morning. "What are you thinking, Hikaru?"

When the boy did not answer, he leaned closer. "Hikaru?"

Those green eyes instantly returned to his face and there was a flash of a strange emotion in them before Hikaru jerked backwards, letting go of Sai's wrist at the same time as though he had just been burned.

They stood there, in the middle of the Institute lobby, awkwardly staring at each other for a moment - Sai confused, and Hikaru desperately trying to get his thoughts back in order. The tense atmosphere was thankfully broken, though, by the timely arrival of Touya Akira.

"Am I interrupting something?" he asked, tone cautiously polite.

Hikaru's eyes immediately flickered to his rival. "Touya!" he exclaimed, relieved. "You're late."

"You're early," came Akira's quick reply, aquamarine eyes flashing slightly.

"Don't complain!"

Akira glared at him quickly before sighing and letting the matter drop. Nodding his head at Sai, he asked "Who is this?"

Hikaru immediately brightened. "Touya! I'd like you to meet a friend of mine."

The long haired man smiled and held out his hand. "Nice to meet you, Touya-san was it? My name is Fujiwara no Sai."

Akira's hand which had been halfway lifted to Sai's suddenly stopped. "Sai?" he asked. "Your name is Sai?"

Sai took a step back, slightly surprised by Akira's sudden intensity. While it was a look that he had been well acquainted with those few times he had played and watched Akira play in the past, it was still a little unnerving to see it in real life and directed at him instead of Hikaru.

"Yes...? Is something wrong Touya-san?" Because suddenly, those blue-green eyes had begun to burn with something Sai recognized as determination and from around the room, gazes which had been fixed on him before seemed to sharpen.

"I want a game," the boy said.

"What?" Sai asked, surprised.

"I want a game," he repeated. "Please," he added quietly.

Sai didn't need to think too hard to know what his answer was. After all, Akira had been the first person whom he had played with after one thousand years, and he had been thoroughly impressed with just that one game. Now, he could not help but wonder exactly how much improvement the boy would have made in the three years since they had last met. "Of course, Touya-san," Sai replied, glad that he was going to get the opportunity to play the prodigy again, and so soon too.

It was, he realized, the wrong thing to say because the next thing he knew, he was already being dragged into the elevators across the room with Hikaru dashing in after them.

"Where are you taking him, Touya?" the blonde-banged boy panted, barely managing to make it in before the doors closed behind him.

His rival turned to face him, those aquamarine eyes burning with a well-known fire.

"Where else?" he replied. "To the games room of course."

**A/N: And several months late, here is the third chapter. I'm sorry! (Hides quickly behind the nearest object which happens to be an exercise book) In my defense though, my exams just finished last Wednesday, so here is the chapter written as soon as possible.**

**Anyway, plot development in this chapter! Hikaru is starting to become over-sensitive, fufu. And in the next chapter (Part II), Akira shall deliver some sagely and enlightening advice. Hopefully it won't be as behind time as this one...**

**Your reviews fuel my passion for writing (and keeps my muse alive).**

**MoonMyst**


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